Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
