Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
How's work?
Spinning.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
