if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
