with your own penis?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
