I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
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