If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
