Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
