I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
