Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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