wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
