i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
