i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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