the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
