I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
