The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
