just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
