Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize