Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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