But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
