So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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