By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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