I cannot find my penis.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
