Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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