but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize