come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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