Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
