You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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