Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
