I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
In America we eat man semen.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
