I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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