mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize