at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
