My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
