I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
