Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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