and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
