You're my little dorito
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
