Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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