he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize