how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
