Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
