thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
