he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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