Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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