we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
i now understand why vodka
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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