I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
