last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
