Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
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