Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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