Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Randomize
