...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
