Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!