So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
my nose is crying tears of wow.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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