Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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