Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My liver just had a heart attack.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
