I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
