its not stalking. its research.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
