5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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