Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
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I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
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Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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