he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
