I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
