Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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