i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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