i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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