My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
