sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
