Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
and you fell through a lawn chair
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
