wakey wakey hands off snakey
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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