Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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