i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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